Can't catch a break

I just can't seem to catch a fucking break!! A family friend of 13 years shot himself on Super Bowl Sunday that makes 4 people in 4 years. I'm stuck at a dead end job with no idea when or if I am going to be able to go back to school. My car is fucked. The transmission won't get in gear so it is now a useless hunk of junk that I wasted $1,000 on no clue when I can get that fixed I want an iPad but that's not going to happen anytime soon I put that off to get the hunk of junk I want to move out of this extended stay hotel thing but can't save the money to do it. So I am on the verge of a mental/emotional breakdown right now.

Fake Smile

Fake Smile

Fake a smile for the crowd
Of people that surround
You
They can't see through it.
They never can, don't
Expect them to.

Think happy thoughts
Try to forget
The thoughts of
Death
That plague you mind
in your darkest moments

That smile, those thoughts
Just proof of your acting
But everyone believes
That you are
Okay
"You'll be okay"
Is what they say

But they have no idea.
What you think
How you Feel
They haven't felt it
You fake your smile
For everyone around to see
They'll never know your
Pain
Never know
You

My Battle

My Battle

Deep in my mind

There is a dark

Dark place

That place

A secret deep inside

Tearing me apart

Tearing me down

Something common

But still

How to tell

Those who care

What I’ve done

That now I can’t stop

Its controlling me

I am trying to win

The battle for my life

The battle for my body

My battle against

Anorexia

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hW9UHJVMbsY

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Free

Todays theme is free. When someone tells you something is going to be free that means no charge right? 99% of the time NO. There is some kind of gimick or you have to pay for something else to get something free. Its getting ridiculous! I mean seriously cant free just mean free! you know like free samples in the mall or costco!! which costco is a wonderful place on the weekends because of that fact ;) but back on topic is there really anything that is truly free anymore? sad to say not much free almost everything free has some catch or really anything that seems too good to be true usually is. like when i was looking for a siberian husky puppy for my fiance everything was a scam i almost gave up but one day i decided to take one last look on craigslist and found a german shepard siberian husky mix puppy for $65 i was thinking of seeing how low she would go but all of a sudden my fiance just turned to me and asked me if i had the money i had the money gave it to the lady and then we were on our way home with a puppy....

My Amusement for the day

My amusement for the day was watching some idot take the ramp off of a 14ft u haul truck with his work van. I was walking my dogs when I heard a loud screeching sound so I went to investigate and I saw an idiot  in a van rip the ramp out of a u haul truck. the guys had just gone up the stairs to their apartment to load some more into the truck and then as soon as they hear that the come running back down the stairs an straight to the truck. and the guy in the van kept saying it wasnt his fault. and i know the guy in his van it always smells like weed so he was probably high as a fucking kite.


thats about all i can think of right now its been one hell of a day
stay classy reader!




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Conversations I never thought I have

me: i am working emma
sister#2:Crap! I butt dailed u
me:lol
sister#2lol
me:you do that alot
sister#2really?
me:yes i have 3 messages of ur butt calling me
sister#2 weird
me:yes yes you r
sister#2 apparently my butt would like to talk to u
me:i guess
sister#2 hello im emilys butt
me: hi emilys butt

~~~~~~a little later~~~~~~~~

phone vibrates its sister #2

me:working emmas butt

sister#2: i actually called u

me:lol

sister#2 my butt is to tired to call u

me:lmao

~~~~~~even later~~~~~

phone goes off for the third time

me:working

sister#2 S@?!